So I just noticed that for a while the videos to my video blog entries have gone the way of the doe-doe bird. I finally found the originals on a disk I had and decided to repost them... well all but one. I just don't see what it would prove and I don't have his permission yet so I will just leave it out.
Anywho... The first 2 here are vBlogs in which I answered a few of my readers emailed questions. I definitely looked better then... gotta get that back on track.
This next one is part 2. Part 1 was long and needed to be broken up. This is the conclusion.
This is the vBlog talking about an awesome weekend I spent in MA before I moved here. Thanks again to my best friend Jeremy. OMG... I sound REALLY gay in this video.
Kristine W. You go girl. OMG, the gay club is rubbing off on me. Anyway, I know how this feels with one exception. It's all very true to me. I mean, he was emotionally unavailable to me. He was not truly free to love. I spent 10yrs trying to get it out of him. Hurting myself in the process. Then not once but twice he showed that he could not truly choose. But he would not turn and walk away, so I had to. Enjoy the music video chulos. I love this bitch, she is... here's my new word of the year coming up... THIS BITCH IS FIERCE!
For some reason I love this Elton John song. I loved it when I was a kid and I still love it now. Besides the fact that here is Elton John prancing around with a bunch of painted men in thongs. But for some ungodly reason, I understand it now. Lyrics and video attached chulos!
Lyrics:
You could never know what it's like Your blood like winter freezes just like ice And there's a cold lonely light that shines from you You'll wind up like the wreck you hide behind that mask you use
And did you think this fool could never win Well look at me, I'm coming back again I got a taste of love in a simple way And if you need to know while I'm still standing you just fade away
Don't you know I'm still standing better than I ever did Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid I'm still standing after all this time Picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind
I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah
Once I never could hope to win You starting down the road leaving me again The threats you made were meant to cut me down And if our love was just a circus you'd be a clown by now
Don't you know I'm still standing better than I ever did Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid I'm still standing after all this time Picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind
I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah
Don't you know I'm still standing better than I ever did Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid I'm still standing after all this time Picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind
I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah (fading)
Sometimes something as small as a movie can at least make you forget. Something as small as a movie can help you remember. I have played a lot of heavies in my days of acting. I have always wanted to play one heavy in particular. Jareth.
"How you've turned my world you precious thing. You starve and near exhaust me. Everything I've done, I've done for you. I move the stars for no one. You've run so long you've run so far. Your eyes can be so cruel, just as I can be so cruel. Tho I do believe in you. Yes I do. Life without the sunlight, love without a heartbeat. I... can't live within you."
or better
"I have been generous up til now. I gave you everything you wanted. Everything! You asked that the baby be taken and I took him. You cowered before me, I was frightening. I have reordered time. I have turned the world upside down and I have done it all for you! It's exhausting living up to your expectations of me. Isn't that generous?"
ooh ooh ooh even better
"Stop. Wait. Look Sarah. Look what I'm offering you... your dreams. I ask for so little, just let me rule you and you can have everything you want. Just fear me, love me, do as I say and I will be your slave."
All from the same sequence and for once it's something in a heavy I can relate to. Eerie.
But I am feeling better. These things come in waves, I just have to re-center myself.
This is pretty much everything that happened on my recent weekend in Worcester, MA. I stayed with Jaeryd and .... well... watch the damn vBlog! To Jaeryd, Thank you. You were a fantastic host and chaperone. I didn't talk about a few things because I don't feel it was my place to. But do tell Matty that if I ever see the fucker who did that to him it won't end happily. Tell Carl... hrmmmm... what to tell Carl. Well tell him I said *Dr. Claw's Voice* Next time gadget... next time. The karate kid and Caesar should come over for a game of poker or twister the next time I come up. Thank everybody for making me feel welcome... and hot. :P
Ok... so I did most of the Video Blog yesterday. I answered 10 questions which took about 20 minutes.. I dunno.. I may just cut some of them out to save time and as I was getting into my FABULOUS weekend my man came home and I only got about 5 minutes on the fabulous weekend. So... I left the questions compressing this morning and will re-tape the FABULOUS weekend monologue.
I do sorta like doing these vBlogs. I just have to find either a better place to serve the video or a smaller format or just not talk so damn much.
So the videos will be up later.. well at least one if not both. I can see though that I need to try and time myself to 10 minutes. That way I can exploit YouTube!
Ok, I am gathering my thoughts for another video blog. I just had a great weekend in Mass., so I figured I'd touch on that a lot. Maybe answer a few more questions. I got some decent ones, so I will try that. Lets see how it goes and stay tuned for the next video blog. Next time I can get Mike out of the house so I can tape it. Coming to a desktop near you!
Now please understand, my computer is incredibly loud. Poor Franken Mac is 7 years old. But I will do something about it for the next video. I answer both questions but it ran a little long. So I cut it into 2 pieces. Question 1, Question 2 w/misc. Enjoy... I hope to get more good questions. The video blog thing was sorta fun. If I seemed a little stoned... it's because I was. :P
This one is quicktime video from my server... apparently longer than 10 minutes is too big for Youtube.
In the basic theme of "finishing what I start", hard habit to build at damn near 30, anywho... I have finally finished my blog. I added all the links to the things I mention on the right side there. Movie, books.... a surprise here and there. Enjoy... and Go me! One more step in finishing what I start.
BTW, I will do the video blog... I just need better questions asked.... let's be real I aint posting a video thats an hour long to answer questions like what's my favorite color. Here's a hint on that one... it is the absence of color. ;) Hrmmm... maybe I'll do a series of video blogs... each one answering the different questions. That way I can at least answer them. Not like I have a ton of questions. I can just be a tad... long winded. Answering 3 questions could take me 10 minutes of video time and bandwidth. So c'mon... send in the juicey questions. The ones you want answered first. :P
OK, so I found all the pieces to hook my digital video camera (I used to work in the world of multimedia, so I have some video skillz. Not that the video blogs will be special in any way. Just know I have the equipment.) and am thinking about at least 1 time a month posting a video blog.
I was struggling with what to do for the first video blog. Do I talk about politics, gay married life, my husband, my apartment, life in NYC, gay rights? Then it came to me... Q&A! You guys can either email me, IM me or comment here on the blog and I will respond to all of them (even the racist or anti-gay ones) in person. May not be live, but thats the breaks.
So send me your questions. I will gladly answer them in the video blog.
As promised here is a slideshow of the wedding I attended earlier this month. It was far from your typical wedding. Mike's cousin is the Groom. I don't know these people. LOL.. Except Mikes uncles.
Believe it or not this is the only photo me and mike have together. Yep, 10 years and few photos. We had one of us at a NYC Gay Pride parade... it was a good one of us kissing at a restaurant. But I couldn't find it if my soul depended on it.
One of these... interesting appearing guys is Mike's father.
