I love my job and if I didn't I would say to hell with this commute. My commute currently adds between 4 - 6 hours to my work day. So I am up and out of the house by 6am and don't get home til about 12/1am. Yeah.
So news in the pipe is that I am moving. Yes moving. Moving closer to work. I mean I don't even have time to entertain the idea of having a beer, or dinner or a frikkin date. So in the interest of salvaging my social life and making my working life just so much easier, yes I am moving. Plans are to move during the month of June. I am looking in the Somerville area right now as it really is not that far away... easily commuted on the T or Taxi-cab-able for those nights I decide to hang out past 12.
So far tho, the job is fantastic! I hit the ground running and it is amazing. So many people there think I came from some other Apple store given my performance and I am just like, " Nope never worked as a Mac Genius before.", LOL. It is interesting the feeling you get from helping people. This job certainly feeds my hero complex nicely.
In the dark reaches, that time in which I simply come home and rest to prepare for my next day, I find myself thinking. I find myself reminiscing of time gone by. Thinking about how happy I was. Thinking about how that happiness faded. Thinking about the how and why of things. Being grateful to have known love. Being angry to have lost it. Thinking about time I had, time I have lost and the new happiness standing in front of me.
I love my job, I am learning to love myself, I am learning to live by myself, for myself. But still I do find that every now and then... I miss time gone by. I miss Mike, in that time as I am drifting off to sleep exhausted from the days work... I find myself wondering what he is doing. I miss my old life, the security in familiarity. But I have to remind myself that I must regret nothing. That I must move forward. I always have moved forward. Unafraid of what is waiting. I am hoping and praying that I can find happiness in myself instead of in others. I am hoping that once I find that happiness that the true happiness I had known before it was my time to know it returns. It is funny how time makes points and those points connect to a final destination unknown. Unknown to me but known infinitely to time. I don't regret the 10 years time that I gave up. I don't regret having lived those ten years. I find myself less angry with Mike. I find myself more forgiving of him and in some strange way I find I am more forgiving of myself. Perhaps thats it. Perhaps I am to learn to forgive myself. Only time will tell... if I can indeed find time.
I miss the time I had to spend with my friends, most of all I miss Jeremy. He has been all too kind to me and has not forsaken me for his own time. In due time he and I shall have more time. It's like finding your brother and having to leave him all too soon. I know I will miss him a lot when I move. I am sure he will miss me too. Tho I am not going to another state, I am moving far enough away that he will not be able to just 'drop by' to chit chat.
In due time I will have more time, but for now I must sacrifice time for happiness.
My only issue is time. Time won't give me time.
- D
5 comments:
I'm glad you blog. And I'm glad you are learning more about yourself. Stay with the journey, there's more to come
Awww, ain't you sweet!
Do you really miss Mike, or do you just miss being in a relationship with someone?
Grats on the whole Apple thing - it sounds like you actually found what you are Supposed to be doing!
Actually.. I am finding that I don't need a relationship to define me. Odd aint it, how sometimes.... given time... we find ourselves. I am finding myself. So it is not the relationship I miss... it really is Mike that I miss.
He was also my best friend after all. So there are things to miss, like the conversation.
Am I sweet? I dunno, some have made such accusations before. :P
Yeah, it really does feel like I am finally doing what it is I was meant to do. ;)
And to WonderMan... I am glad you read my blog. I wish more readers would post. ;)
Somerville is a great place to live. In all the years I lived in Boston, I always wanted to live in Davis Square, but never could afford.
Hope you find a great place, and take Jeremy with you damnit! That boy needs to get the hell out of Worcester!
And I totally hear on needing more time. I've decided that if I had about 3.5 more hours a day, I could get it all done... this is not to say that given days (like today) when I have had nothing I had to do, I still sit here at 10:30 pm trying to "hurry up" and finish all the things I meant to do!
Single Girl...
Well I ended up finding a place with an awesome roommate in Hyde Park! Its a 2 bedroom condo and it's not sketchy. Wow!
I wish I could take Jeremy with me, but I will tell you... if I end up going corporate and moving to California... I am packing JEremy in a little suitcase and taking him with me.
He is such a good person, I don't know how you were able to leave him here. Hehe.
Gonna have to get him to come visit Boston at least once a week.
Post a Comment