I have made a choice. I did not do it to hurt anyone. I did it to prevent the inevitable. He made a choice too... though done out of spite... has actually created a sort of closure. He has met someone.... yes already... he has promised to honor our ten years together by not actually dating or hooking up during the last few weeks I am here. But the emails... never seen him get as hot for me as he does when writing these damn things. I am jealous for sure.
So... I told him about C.. There is not much to tell really. A general attraction, then a personality match... but nothing serious. Nothing has happened... but I should start thinking about the rest of my life. It does not seem that these things should be occurring so quickly. Not after 10yrs. It still hurts to wake up in the morning knowing it's over. But I guess it will pass.
What was that sweety? Oh.. his reaction to my talking about C. in any form... it made him uncomfortable. It's a feeling.. I am almost shocked. He expresses no feeling that is not happiness or anger. I never made him jealous before. Too bad this is what it took to get a real emotion out of him. Granted I should not have used Cs coincidence to me to make him jealous (He does not know Cs name, that would have just been tacky) but I was hurting something aweful.
I hope we both learn from this and come out of it better people. If we didn't the pain would be a waste.
-Daemian
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