Been going through some odd feelings lately. I have been coming to grips with the fact that I would have welcomed not being single, I would have gladly taken a new partner, though I was not ready for it. My decision would have been hasty even. I know, I know... didn't Jaeryd try to tell me that? Of course he did. I would have even done well in a relationship being not ready, it's just part of who I am. I am good at the things I do.
But, now... I don't know so much. I am coming to grips with being single. Slowed down the whole being slutty thing has put a lot into perspective. I don't know nor truly understand what it is just yet. But I do know I am enjoying the new found freedom. Don't even know if I particularly want a partner right now. Oh my god... did I really just say that? Perhaps it's just my strangely manic mode? Perhaps acceptance has really set in?
I have gone on a few dates, trying to find that "Mike" replacement, only to find none of us are really replaceable.. Would I really want to "replace" him anyway? Shouldn't I be looking for something or someone different? Well I have pretty much stopped looking, stopped dating, stopped being desperate. Don't get me wrong, I will still look at every hot guy like he was a piece of meat... but hey I don't have to go there in reality ya know. I also know I don't want to relive all of the mistakes I made along the way.
I don't really know what this all means. I don't, I mean this is a first for me in terms of life experiences. So I don't know what to expect or what to do. But I do know this... now that I am not really looking for a relationship.. watch someone tries to toss one on me. LOL. Go fig.
Well, enough of this weird, woke up from a dead sleep with an inkling to blog rambling. Talk to yas later.
- Daemian
Monday, July 21, 2008
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
New Information and a New Home
New Information:
So I work for Apple at the new Boylston Street store. As such I have the opportunity to meet a lot of new people and with that come the opportunity to see a lot of old acquaintances. I run into an old teacher who works at MIT. The teacher recounts how intelligent I was, go figure. He then makes a proposition, he wants me to come by and take an IQ test. Stating he was always curious and has had the chance to work on the creation of a new IQ test. So far his results, according to him, have been shocking and surprisingly accurate. At first I decline, but he is persistent stating his curiosity of my intellect versus my behavior as his motivating factor. The teacher had been one I confided in a while ago regarding my childhood, childhood events etc...
Reluctantly I agreed. So I met with him earlier today, took the test which also consisted of a psychological evaluation. Well I am more than slightly surprised. The teacher did not disclose my psych scores but did reveal my IQ test scores. Genius level IQ begins at 140, I scored 138. I scored 2 points shy of genius. He made me take the test again, of course the questions were different, I was hoping to cheat the test, lol. Nope I couldn't cheat the test... second test I scored 139. He tested me a third time and I again tested 139.
He wants me to come back and work with him on a few things. I don't know what these things are. I told him I would think about it. My work schedule keeps me pretty busy and is mentally exhausting.
I wonder what he found in my psych evaluation and why he would not share them with me.
New Home:
So I have been here for 3 or 4 weeks now. My roommate has been gone for the past week, he had to go to his sisters wedding. This has been an interesting time for me. I have been essentially learning how to live with only myself. I had gone out Saturday and Sunday... shockingly enough I had fun. I don't know how or why. I went out Saturday and saw a few friends there and we hung out, drank and chatted. I even got the phone number of a cute lil fella. Sunday I went out for Karaoke after work and had a ball. I sang 3 songs and got standing ovations from the local bears. I think Karaoke night will be a regular thing for me.
That being said, I find myself missing my weekly dinner with Jeremy. I am thinking I have to find a way to get to Worcester once a week so he and we can resume our weekly ritual.
Oh well, there is really nothing new aside from that.
Later chulos!
- D
So I work for Apple at the new Boylston Street store. As such I have the opportunity to meet a lot of new people and with that come the opportunity to see a lot of old acquaintances. I run into an old teacher who works at MIT. The teacher recounts how intelligent I was, go figure. He then makes a proposition, he wants me to come by and take an IQ test. Stating he was always curious and has had the chance to work on the creation of a new IQ test. So far his results, according to him, have been shocking and surprisingly accurate. At first I decline, but he is persistent stating his curiosity of my intellect versus my behavior as his motivating factor. The teacher had been one I confided in a while ago regarding my childhood, childhood events etc...
Reluctantly I agreed. So I met with him earlier today, took the test which also consisted of a psychological evaluation. Well I am more than slightly surprised. The teacher did not disclose my psych scores but did reveal my IQ test scores. Genius level IQ begins at 140, I scored 138. I scored 2 points shy of genius. He made me take the test again, of course the questions were different, I was hoping to cheat the test, lol. Nope I couldn't cheat the test... second test I scored 139. He tested me a third time and I again tested 139.
He wants me to come back and work with him on a few things. I don't know what these things are. I told him I would think about it. My work schedule keeps me pretty busy and is mentally exhausting.
I wonder what he found in my psych evaluation and why he would not share them with me.
New Home:
So I have been here for 3 or 4 weeks now. My roommate has been gone for the past week, he had to go to his sisters wedding. This has been an interesting time for me. I have been essentially learning how to live with only myself. I had gone out Saturday and Sunday... shockingly enough I had fun. I don't know how or why. I went out Saturday and saw a few friends there and we hung out, drank and chatted. I even got the phone number of a cute lil fella. Sunday I went out for Karaoke after work and had a ball. I sang 3 songs and got standing ovations from the local bears. I think Karaoke night will be a regular thing for me.
That being said, I find myself missing my weekly dinner with Jeremy. I am thinking I have to find a way to get to Worcester once a week so he and we can resume our weekly ritual.
Oh well, there is really nothing new aside from that.
Later chulos!
- D
Friday, July 4, 2008
One Night Stand...
Ever have a one night stand that left you feeling like this?
Now as the summer fades
I let you slip away
You say I’m not your type
But I can make you sway
It makes you burn to learn
You’re not the only one
I'd let you be if you
put down your blazing gun
Now you’ve gone somewhere else
Far away
I don’t know if I will find you (find you, find you)
But you feel my breath
On your neck
Can’t believe I’m right behind you (right behind you)
‘Cause you keep me coming back for more
And I feel a little better than I did before
And if I never see your face again
I don’t mind
‘Cause we gone much further than I thought we'd get tonight
Sometimes you move so well
It’s hard not to give in
I’m lost, I can’t tell
Where you end and I begin
It makes me burn to learn
You’re with another man
I wonder if he’s half
The lover that I am
Now you’ve gone somewhere else
Far away
I don’t know if I will find you (find you, find you)
But you feel my breath
On your neck
Can’t believe I’m right behind you (right behind you)
‘Cause you keep me coming back for more
And I feel a little better than I did before
And if I never see your face again
I don’t mind
‘Cause we gone much further than I thought we'd get tonight
Baby, baby
Please believe me
Find it in your heart to reach me
Promise not to leave me behind
(Promise not to leave me behind)
Take me down, but take it easy
Make me think but don’t deceive me
Talk to me bout taking your time
(Talk to me, talk to me)
‘Cause you keep me coming back for more
And I feel a little better than I did before
And if I never see your face again
I don’t mind
‘Cause we gone much further than I thought we'd get tonight
‘Cause you keep me coming back for more
And I feel a little better than I did before
And if I never see your face again
I don’t mind
‘Cause we got much further than I thought we'd get tonight
Maroon 5.. I don't love em, but I like this song. I can relate to it. A one night stand that I would LOVE to see again.
- D
I let you slip away
You say I’m not your type
But I can make you sway
It makes you burn to learn
You’re not the only one
I'd let you be if you
put down your blazing gun
Now you’ve gone somewhere else
Far away
I don’t know if I will find you (find you, find you)
But you feel my breath
On your neck
Can’t believe I’m right behind you (right behind you)
‘Cause you keep me coming back for more
And I feel a little better than I did before
And if I never see your face again
I don’t mind
‘Cause we gone much further than I thought we'd get tonight
Sometimes you move so well
It’s hard not to give in
I’m lost, I can’t tell
Where you end and I begin
It makes me burn to learn
You’re with another man
I wonder if he’s half
The lover that I am
Now you’ve gone somewhere else
Far away
I don’t know if I will find you (find you, find you)
But you feel my breath
On your neck
Can’t believe I’m right behind you (right behind you)
‘Cause you keep me coming back for more
And I feel a little better than I did before
And if I never see your face again
I don’t mind
‘Cause we gone much further than I thought we'd get tonight
Baby, baby
Please believe me
Find it in your heart to reach me
Promise not to leave me behind
(Promise not to leave me behind)
Take me down, but take it easy
Make me think but don’t deceive me
Talk to me bout taking your time
(Talk to me, talk to me)
‘Cause you keep me coming back for more
And I feel a little better than I did before
And if I never see your face again
I don’t mind
‘Cause we gone much further than I thought we'd get tonight
‘Cause you keep me coming back for more
And I feel a little better than I did before
And if I never see your face again
I don’t mind
‘Cause we got much further than I thought we'd get tonight
Maroon 5.. I don't love em, but I like this song. I can relate to it. A one night stand that I would LOVE to see again.
- D
An Interesting Date and Happy 4th of July!
Happy 4th of July Chulos!!!
I worked today, unsure of my evening plans for I am victim of Bank of America yet again. Work was fun, as per usual.. but I know what you buggers want to hear. The date.
Well I went on a date with a rather funny and cute 26yo guy. We had dinner at a nice restaurant in the South End and the went to see Wanted. I loved the movie, I mean the violence was over the top. Of course Angelina Jolie turned me on a lil bit. Something about a girl that can kick my ass I find to be hot.
That said.. I did enjoy the date... but something just didn't feel right. I mean.. he was a very nice guy. But I just didn't feel that something. I even tried putting my hand on his lap during the movie to see if I felt anything. Nothing... nada... it was like me touching Jaeryd. I think he and I can be great friends, but we simply can not date. Which was both a little disappointing but at the same time a little.. I dunno... interesting to me. I mean.. I was my usual nervous self. But it was sort of good to know that.. I can go out on a date and if it doesn't click, well thats ok. It doesn't have to click. If it does, then great!
So I don't feel bad about it, hell if I had any single gay top friends in his age range, I'd try to hook em up in a heartbeat. I mean he is a good guy. Cute, funny, smart and employed.
So that's the date. Nothing terribly exciting, in fact it was refreshingly normal.
Been mad busy lately, so I apologize for not blogging more. But as things settle down I will make it a regular habit again. ;) Hell if I can fix my firewire o FrankenMac I will be doing video blogs again.
Til next time chulos!
- D
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