Next Piece...

So my next piece is going to be "bear related". I figured I needed to come up with original artwork to use... so I am posting the sketch I am going to work and use in it.
Not sure if I am going to color it or use it as a sketch type thing. Bt I figured I'd give you chulos a sneak peak.

-Daemian

PTS

As much as I would like to see more of PTS. I don't think I will. I mean I didn't put much hope into it. But I did like him. Something in my gut tells me it won't happen. Dunno what it is. Maybe he just got what he wanted and that is all. Who knows what anyone is really feeling.

I had to get that one out. Haven't ranted about a guy in a bit.

-Daemian

A Revision

I made some changes to my previous piece going on some comments earlier. *cough* Jeremy *cough*. But I also made some other more subtle changes that weren't mentioned but seemed to make sense when I was making the change I did agree with. I do wish JPGs and PNGs preserved CMYK color profiles better. The pieces I post are from a larger 300dpi CMYK image that can actually be printed in full size.

Here ya go!

I think I will work on something 'Bear related' next. Either a T-Shirt Design, a flyer, a postcard or something or a Poster (Tho online a poster doesn't look any different from a flyer. LOL). I wish I still had the design for my personal business card. Dat shit was HOT!

-Daemian

Job with Apple...

Well... the phone interview went very well. I answered all of the test questions correctly. I gave a good history in terms of my experience over the past ten years in tech support, hardware repair and software troubleshooting. My experience in 'Creative' seems to have grabbed the recruiters attention. I would not be shocked if he attempted to get me moved into Apple Creative relatively quickly.

So I made it past this step and now it's on to the next. Sometime next week I have to meet with the recruiter of the Cambridge store. The recruiter will give me that basic run down of the 'culture' of the store. Upon a successful meeting with the recruiter I move on to the next and final step. 3 weeks of paid training... in Cupertino, CA! Yes chulos.... Cupertino... at the Apple Headquarters. Oh... my... GGGGGAAAAAWWWWDDDDDD! It's a wet dream come true for a Mac-Phile like me!

Wish me continued luck as I am not in the clear just yet. Of course should something else come up in terms of a job that pays more, well I could only be so lucky!

-Daemian

Rebuilding Piece 1

Club Nebula does not actually exist. But, I know I need to diversify my portfolio. In the spirit of doing this I am posting one of the pieces as promised. This is intended to be a full page (8.5 x 11) flyer for an event to occur at Club Nebula. Lemme know what you think.

Oh and in other news... I was contacted by Apple Computer. They'd like to speak with me more about being a Mac Genius at the Genius Bar in one of their Boston area Apple Stores. For those who do not know, these Mac Genius jobs come with full benefits, paid training and pay VERY well. I'll be pushing for a position in Cambridge, as I know how to get there. LOL. I'll be giving them a call when I wake up. Pray for me.




- Daemian

Rebuilding...

Given I have works only from my last job in terms of Graphics work I have to rebuild a portfolio. Over the next few days I will post a piece here or there. I'd like some feedback on them. Which ones you like, which ones you don't. Don't be afraid to post a comment on them. Thanks chulos.

-Daemian

Jobs, Jobs, Jobs!

Well apparently this past weekend has made for a great networking opportunity. As such I am sprucing up my resumé to reflect my graphic design ability while still selling myself as an IT guy that is also a Graphic Designer. It would seem that there are many bears that can pass my resumé along and perhaps get me in at some decent places. I do like working at the club but the pay is not going to get me back on my feet in anyway... unless they put me on as a Bartender and give me a good night. I somehow doubt that will happen tho. So at any rate I am breaking ass to get my electronic portfolio done, my website done and my resumé up to code. Soon enough chulos.. soon enough.

Oh an no I didn't get the gig that would have been perfect for getting me back on my feet.Their reason... I don't have a car. My friend Jay took great offense to this as I would be driving in with him and he feels they are calling him unreliable. Of course he has not missed a single day, has voluntarily done overtime and arrives early. He did overhear them talking about my being overqualified for the job. So we suspect that to be the real reason.

Whatever the case may be, come hell or high water I am not going to give anyone... especially my ex... the satisfaction of saying I made a mistake in leaving him and leaving NYC. Fuck that shit. I am gonna do this and I don't give a shit what it takes.

If anyone out there has any connections in the Boston area for an IT or Graphics Guy let me know and I will forward a resumé. LOL.

-Daemian

An Out of Hibernation Run Down!

Well the event was called Out of Hibernation and for good reason. All the bears were out en mass and a hot group of them it was. I had never drooled nor been groped so much before in my life. I met a lot of great people, but still struggling to see where I fit in. It's sort of been the story of my life, I don't fit in anywhere and spend a ton of time trying to find where I belong.

Friday:

My friend James picked me up around 2pm and we headed on our merry way. Me with just a napsack and James with luggage. LOL. Traffic was light, w ran into mild drizzles along the way but nothing earth shattering. We arrived around 5pm into P-Town where we took a short drive just looking around. We had spotted Michaels car (Superman logo gave it away to me) and figured he was staying at The Ranch, which he was. We checked in at the Crown and Anchor in which James had gotten a room with 2 twin beds in it. Given I had overslept, I hadn't eaten yet. So I was starving. We called Mike to come to dinner but he didn't reply. So we went to Betsy's on our own. Had the all you can eat Fish n Chips which was to do die for. But as my friends know, all you can eat is wasted on me. All I can eat is pretty much one dinner. But it was good. As I was having my after dinner smoke, I spotted someone... someone I had been speaking to for a while. Someone I am VERY interested in. He was there! We'll just call him Stud for now. Don't want our business as to who all over the place.

Of course James and I headed back to our room where I had to make like a diva and perform a mid concert costume change. I put on the Sodomight shirt and a grey button up over it, tossed on my leather jacket and we headed to The Ranch for the Bear Meet and Greet. Shock and awe is the best way I could describe it. Hot furry men as far as the eye could see. I mean the place is tiny, but full to the brim with bears. I was man handled, I guess it's that new car smell I have being a P-Town and Bear Event virgin. They smelled fresh meat like a rabid dog smells fear. Not that I mind it at all. I loved the attention. I never get that kind of attention. I had also gotten a chance to meet Mike face to face. I love this little man. I can only hope he and I become good friends... if not GREAT friends. I also ran into a fellow I had hoped to run into on Saturday but didn't, tho he did express that I was cuter in person. Go me!

As I am on my 5th cup of a rather strong punch, in walks stud. The man is damn beautiful. He came because he knew I be going. It was our chance to meet. He had 1 cup of the punch before we made our rather swift exit. Back to where he was staying, it was almost perfect. We had our 'appetizer' then our 'main course'. Three hours later we are both laying there sweaty and spent. I loved it. I loved making him feel good. But I won't go into too much detail like my other porn posts. This is about Out of Hibernation, although Stud shows up a few times in this tale.

So I leave him in his place to sleep and I head back out. I wanted to check out the other pubs around the area and I knew the group was doing the pub crawl. So I hit the 'Little Bar' which was packed with hot bears and it even had a dance area that was wall to wall hotties dancing. I decided to head to The Vault, which was right next to The Crown and Anchor. This place is insanely dark, has porn playing on the TVs and was full of hotties and there I run back into James talking to a few of his friends. Remember... I don't know anybody. So I just give him the "OMG I just had great sex look". LOL.

I drank a bit, talked a bit.. hung out with Ed a bit (El Presidenté of the North East Ursamen , King of the Bears in CT) and found we got along great. It was time to retire tho. Besides... I could barely stand, 3 hours of bangin' will do that to me. I get back to the room, James force feeds me a shot of rum and I was out. LOL.

Saturday:

I wake up trying to hide my hangover. Sunglasses FTW! It was raining and cold. We had sorta missed the Bear Stroll through P-Town but no mind... it was raining and cold. I somehow lost my umbrella. I know I had it when I left Stud the previous night. But whatever. James let me use his dollar store special and we headed out to check out the shops. We went into this knick knack shop that had all sorts of things. James found an umbrella he wanted and bought it. I found a hat I wanted and prayed looked good on me. (There is a story behind the hat I only relayed to those closest to me) We continued on. Went and had breakfast/brunch when we ran into Mike on the street. Paul and his two friend had arrived on Saturday and were there as well. I had a thing for Paul, sorta like a crush... but at this point I find him really interesting and would love to find out more and hopefully make a lifelong friend of him.

We finished up our brunch, head back to our rooms and Dave popped by. I was reading Coraline... again... and he came on in and sat down and the three of us chatted for a bit. Dave is a really nice guy. We got along great! He's as much of a horndog as I am. Alas we are both tops. LOL. So a new friend... yay! A few more pages into my book after Dave leaves and it is time for Bear Blast at The Vault. Well I head on down and see the bear meat hanging around and can only sit there. I was too intimidated to approach anyone. I just kept having that gut feeling I was not their type, I know I shouldn't be so insecure. No one approached me so I just left it at that. But then who should I saunter in on? Stud! I give him his space.. we stayed in differing parts of the bar for a while, but tended to gravitate towards each other and back off. It was like watching two wild animals circle each other waiting for the other to make a move. He flirts with others in a way I only wish I had the confidence to do. But I make my way over to him. A few gropes later and we find ourselves exiting The Vault and heading to the room I was staying in with James. I gave James the good old 'Give me an hour and half' routine. I was pleasantly surprised that Stud liked the hat on me. Tho I did hear word later that I look like I just stepped out of the Bronx in the hat. Is that a good thing? You can see for yourself in the post below how I look in the hat. Anyway... we make it to my room put the 'Do Not Disturb' sign on the door and we go right for the 'main course' this time. Roughly 2 hrs 30 min later he heads for the shower and goes to get ready for the Boots and Boxers party. I then shower and get ready. I walk out to find James talking to the front desk guy. At which point I find out James actually came back twice before we were done.

Of course they laugh about it, James had to explain that he and I were only friends. Which we are and I am grateful to have such a friend right now. James then goes in to get ready for Boots and Boxers... I have a couple of shots of Rum and we head on out.

Boots and boxers was interesting. I couldn't get out of Bouncer mode. Working at a club will do that to you I guess. I danced a bit and had a good ol time. I had seen a few people that I have drooled over on Bear411 there, but I just couldn't muster the big brass ones to approach them. So I just looked from a distance. Stud arrived in his oh so sexy camo boxer briefs and was sexy as all hell in them. But he disappeared before the end of the night. I didn't get to say good bye or see you later. :-( But I was there and drank a lil bit more. Danced with Ed under the promise he'd tell everyone I was the hottest top ever. I didn't want to dance because I found out I come across as a bottom when I dance. But hell, Ed's bribe was enough to motivate me. So dance I did.

The music was 'ok'. That damn club is rubbing off on me.. but I would have preferred it if maybe Tony T was there as the sexy bear bitch he is. But we stayed and I dance and had a time avoiding someone. James got rather ripped. We make out way back to our hotel room where me and James talked for hours it seemed, while I read a book in between. Then James goes out for a cigarette and the funniest shit happens. It's a story that is only funny if you HEAR it. So if you wanna hear it you will have to hunt me down and listen to it.

Sunday:

We get up, get packed, check out and headed to the All You Can Eat Breakfast Buffet at Mike Oshay's. We sit with Dave and Paul and his gang. We eat, we laugh, we end the weekend. James and I find out that people thought we were a couple. I felt so bad. Maybe that's why he didn't get lucky? Did they think I would grind em to a pulp if they approached him? I dunno. But then I heard something sort of heart breaking. People would say things like, "I love Jimmy's new boyfriend! He is such a nice guy. Finally Jimmy is getting the man he deserves.". But alas we are just friends. It was sort of heartbreaking to realize that Jimmy is an amazing and odd fellow who really does deserve to be with a great guy. Not that I am a great guy... not that I am that guy for him. He is my friend. But I hope for his sake that someone just right will come along and sweep him off of his feet.

James stated to me his intentions for inviting me. He had only learned the day of the trip that I had never been to p-town so it wasn't about that. It was about showing me that life does go on. I am not some hideous mess that I think and envision myself as being. That I cannot hold on to the baggage of what is now my past. That other men should not have to pay for what happened between my ex and I. For me to just let it all go. Drop the baggage. Let other people in. I have a lot of self esteem issues to work through. I have a lot of self doubt to work through. I have a lot of insecurities to work through. But for this one weekend, I let them go for a bit. I still had some issues but they weren't what they had been. I learned I can get over it, I will be just fine and I can and will repair the damage I had allowed to happen over the past ten years. Do I fit in with these guys? I don't know.. but I will sure as hell try to fit in... but not as someone else, not as who I think they want me to be... but as just me.

James, thank you! You have no idea how much this has meant to me. I hope to return the favor for Bear Week if I can get my shit together.

Here are some pics. I only took a few, James took a few. We were both too distracted to get many good pictures done.

___________________________________________

Me: Boots n Boxers Party

Dave (the silly one giving me rabbit ears), Me and Paul: Breakfast at Mike O'shay's

A Leprechaun and an Easter Bunny... how cute: Boots n Boxers

Damien and Mark: Boots n Boxers

Me and 'The Hat' = Bronx Bear!

Paul Shakin' his money maker: Boots n Boxers

The Crowd: Boots n Boxers

Dave, me and Paul: Breakfast at O'shay's

Magger and James (in the plaid): Breakfast at O'Shay's

Pilgrim Monument

Me at the parking lot of the Pilgrim Monument

Me and James: Boots n Boxers

Special Request Edit: James Suggested I re-create the Do Not Disturb sign that hung on the door for 3 hours on Saturday while I had some fun. So here you go. Figure that I would make it all flashy. LOL.

-Daemian

Back in Town!

I had a fantabulous time in P-Town. I will write more on it later, gotta go help Jeremy before he has a coronary in WoW. But in the mean time. Check out this new Fed I picked up. Already got confirmation I look hot in it so shut up bitches... err.. I mean my dear sweet chulos out there. ;)



-Daemian

Out of Hibernation

So, I am here in P-Town... day 2. Day one was awesome! First the food at Betsy's was great. We had the all you can eat fish fry. Beer battered haddock and chips. Fuckin' delicious. Then there was the meet and greet at The Ranch aka The Raunch. This place is tiny. Imagine about 70 bears in something the size of your living room. Unknown to me there were other rooms, one in which had a sling. :-( Can't believe I missed that!

Anyhow, a bear I had been interested in for awhile came to P-Town for the event just for me. So despite all the gropes, growls and "Hot Damns"... he had a "reservation" with him. So for roughly 3 hours I banged the hell out of him. He went right to sleep afterwards. I love it when I wear a guy out. He was hot as hell too. Had nice big arms, a nice big muscley chest and an ass you can bounce a quarter off of. He loved every minute of it. Of course I was a bit tipsy and could have had my choice of hotties for round 2... but I don't trust myself when I am drunk so I didn't go there.

I drove down here with my friend James. We have a room with 2 twin beds which is nice. We are at The Crown and Anchor. I then did a slight bar crawl last night and ended up at The Vault. Hotties galore and what to my wandering eyes should appear but another bear I have had some serious interest in. Well he and I will be having some fun today. Then again... I have most of the day to have fun. James did inform me that his intent is to get me to relax, forget about my ex, let go of the hurt, let go of the distrust and to remember that I am alive. I tell you what. I may be lonely... but that will pass. I'll just get a dog. But as far as being single. I should embrace it. I can't let my hurt over what he had done stop me from a) being me and b) from having a good time with life. Truth be told, it's working. I have never felt so good about myself or my current situation.

This is my first time in P-Town and my first bear event. I am having a fuckin' blast and I cannot wait for bear week in July. If I get this job, I will have the money and the car to come to bear week and once again have a good time. So far I have met some great people and I have had some great fun. Trying to take as many pictures as I can take, but I am wwwaaaayyyyy too distracted here to be able to concentrate on pictures. Tonight is the Boots and Boxers party at The Vault. I have my boxers, my boxer briefs to go under them (I am not a whore dammit) and my boots. Wonder how many "Woofs" I am gonna get tonight?

I will post pictures when I get back home and can edit them. (not posting from my own computer)

P.S. Can you fucking believe it snowed. Yesterday was 50 and nice. Today was 38 with snow and sleet in the morning. Welcome to P-Town!

-Daemian

Wish Me Luck!

I have an open house to attend today. Thing is, they have already seen my resumé. They are already very happy with it. The only thing that may keep me from getting this job is that I am WWWAAAAAYYYYY overqualified for it. It is basically working customer tech support in a call center. I know it is not the best job on the planet, but neither is being a bouncer. If I get this job tho it will do a lot for me. Consider this. After taxes it'd give me roughly 330 bucks a week. My rent is 320 a month. With this money I can fix my license which is a desperate thing right now. I can lease a hot shit car. I can buy a new computer (FrankenMac is slowly dieing after 7years of being a workhorse.). I can go through some serious retail therapy. I can visit mom and my sister anytime I felt like it. I can live like a king until I find a job that is more my speed.

So wish me luck chulos. Oh an dby the way, I am so very grateful for all of the encouraging emails I have gotten from the readers. I will not name names because I understand the whole "don't want people to know I am on some queers blog" thing. So just know, and you shy bitches know who you are, that I am very grateful for the emails. I know I will be ok, I am petrified but I guess the comments on my being brave are correct. Bravery is taking the action even tho you are scared shitless. If I don't get the gig, life goes on another will come my way.

Been a bit lonely and figuring if I do get a job where I can reliably feed myself I will get a dog. I was thinking an American Staffordshire Terrier. They are related to pit bulls but have a great temperament, make great companions and work dogs and are infamous for being great around children and friendly to people yet protective of their homes and owners. Much like myself. So the loneliness will be somewhat cured. I don't need to fuck everything that hoves into my field of vision to patch the hurt. Tho this weekend I am going to PTown for the first time. A bear event called Out of Hibernation. I do plan on using a shit ton of condoms. :P I'll take lots of pictures and post the G rated ones. Later chulos!

-Daemian

THIS... IS... MY... GIRRRLLLL!!!!

Kristine W. You go girl. OMG, the gay club is rubbing off on me. Anyway, I know how this feels with one exception. It's all very true to me. I mean, he was emotionally unavailable to me. He was not truly free to love. I spent 10yrs trying to get it out of him. Hurting myself in the process. Then not once but twice he showed that he could not truly choose. But he would not turn and walk away, so I had to. Enjoy the music video chulos. I love this bitch, she is... here's my new word of the year coming up... THIS BITCH IS FIERCE!

-Daemian

More YouTube Fun!!!

These are just some of the fun videos I heard about on YouTube. Figured I'd share!

Charlie the Unicorn:



Shoes:



Let Me Borrow That Top:



Saved the best for last... Text Message Breakup:



These for some reason make me laugh uncontrollably. Enjoy chulos!

-Daemian

I'm Still Standing

For some reason I love this Elton John song. I loved it when I was a kid and I still love it now. Besides the fact that here is Elton John prancing around with a bunch of painted men in thongs. But for some ungodly reason, I understand it now. Lyrics and video attached chulos!

Lyrics:

You could never know what it's like
Your blood like winter freezes just like ice
And there's a cold lonely light that shines from you
You'll wind up like the wreck you hide behind that mask you use

And did you think this fool could never win
Well look at me, I'm coming back again
I got a taste of love in a simple way
And if you need to know while I'm still standing you just fade away

Don't you know I'm still standing better than I ever did
Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid
I'm still standing after all this time
Picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind

I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah
I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah

Once I never could hope to win
You starting down the road leaving me again
The threats you made were meant to cut me down
And if our love was just a circus you'd be a clown by now

Don't you know I'm still standing better than I ever did
Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid
I'm still standing after all this time
Picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind

I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah
I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah

Don't you know I'm still standing better than I ever did
Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid
I'm still standing after all this time
Picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind

I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah
I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah
I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah
I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah
I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah (fading)

Video: