Then I had a moment of clarity. I don't know why, but in Zen it happens a lot. You get a glimpse of enlightenment and then for a split second things become clear. You see a lot, including yourself, clearly.
Met a few good guys. Met some not so good guys. Met some guys that made me stop and think. Met some guys that helped boost the good ol' ego even.
Also came to realize that I will be turning 29 in June. I spent the past 10yrs in a relationship and never really got the chance to be 20-something. I realistically only have 1 year left to be 20-something, so to hell with trying to find another relationship to be in. As much as I want one, I also want to be 20-something. If Mr. Right comes along then hooray for me and if he doesn't... more time to have fun without having to answer to anyone but myself.
So I am searching... for friends. People to hang out with, to laugh with, to complain about men with, to talk about Project Runway with (part of my gay lessons, apparently I am still not gay enough), to play silly card games with, to invite me to parties. I am looking for friends. So, while I rebuild my life from the ground up, I want to find friends not distractions.
Yes I work as a bouncer to make ends meet while I am rebuilding my life, but I am actively looking for work in the Boston area (easy travel from Worcester being that I don't have a car) as a Graphic Designer or IT Professional. So I may find myself in Boston a lot.
So if you don't mind being my friend... my REAL friend dammit, hit me up. If you are already my friend, I love you more than you know.
That doesn't mean I am not up for some fun along the way of course. Hell part of what I missed about my 20s was sowing my wild oats and being slutty. But safely slutty. Rubbers are the way my children, this whole "barebacking on the rise" thing scares me. So bag it before you tag it. Remember it's not that I don't want a man... I do, but enough worrying about it. I may as well have fun while I am still single and 20-something.
-Daemian
3 comments:
Moment of ZEN clarity, my ass.
I think I actually suggested months ago going for the sowing oats for a while...
Speaking of silly card games, I need to teach you poker.
I think you missed the part about wanting a man but given my looknig for it has turned up n ot so god... I'll just go and enjoy being 20-something. I hope mr right comes along quickly.. but until then I will go and be 20-something.
That and I would guess the moment of clarity is that perhaps you were right in an odd way. I am sort of being forced into the position more so than a matter of "I don't want to be tied down let me run wild.".
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