Well I had perhaps one of the better dates last night. He wasn't so much a bear... but he was kind, showed concern for me, believes in monogamy, wants to see me again and understands where I am coming from because he is in a similar boat. He is 1yr out of an 8yr relationship. He says I gave him hope that he wouldn't have to be alone. That a guy like me is a rarity. Someone who wants a real relationship, a monogamous relationship and is a nice guy to boot.
He reminds me of my co-worker Matty. Mostly in speech, choice of words and affliction. I find it endearing.
There is one caveat, he is 43yrs old. Now anyone who knows me knows that Mike is 41 turning 42 this year. I don't mind the age so much as the question of "Why can't I find this in someone closer to my own age?". Then it dawned on me. It's because I am not my own age. Not mentally, not emotionally. I had to grow up fast, it happens sometimes. I just happen to have left those closer to my age behind. So now when I am trying to find my qualities in someone my age it's like finding a needle in a haystack.
I don't so much worry about it as I worry more about what my friend Jae is gonna think. I am 28 going on 29... the guy just turned 43. That makes him 1 year older than Mike. He has a big heart and a beautiful soul, that should be all that matters right? It's what makes him attractive to me. He has spent some time courting me. I told him I'd like to see him again as well. He asked that I call him today. I will after I wake up.
There is also the predicament of Dwayne. I haven't heard from him, but it has also been a hectic
week. I don't know if he is really interested in dating me or if he just wants sex. I suppose that if he does call I will ask him. I don't know what to do if Dwayne says that yes he wants to date me.
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