How Daemian Got His Groove Back...

I finally gots me interwebz. Wooha!!!

So I now have a couch, a loveseat and a huge 42" LCD HD TV! Dear lord. My apartment is slowly coming together. I have to start thinking about the walls and actually decorating. Gayness here I come!

It felt good to be back in World of Warcraft. The new patch is fun. It builds so much anticipation for the Wrath of the Lich King.

Next Friday is my Halloween / Housewarming Party. Can't wait, it should be fun. Co-Workers, friends... Homos and Heteros having fun together. What next? Dogs fucking Cats?

I am going to see my family the first week of November for my vacation. I have to make sure I hit NYC to have lunch with Walter, to drop off the keys to the old apartment with Mike and pick up a few things I left behind in the old apartment. At first I was apprehensive about this prospect but at this point I am just fine with it.

My Joey.... I got my groove back. IT is an interesting thing going on. I let my guard down and decided to allow myself to love someone again. I am scared shitless about it. I know that in doing so I have given him the power to hurt me. I don't ever want to get hurt again. But I decided that I want to live life. I can't truly live life if I don't allow myself attachment. I am in love. How do I know? A few key events. I miss him when he is gone, I am genuinely happy when I see him and... drum roll please.... I let him Top me. I enjoyed being topped more emotionally that I did physically. Physically it does nothing for me... but emotionally it felt fantastic. I enjoyed it so much because it was with him. I know that eventually this have to end. Either in death or in break up. Nothing lasts forever. I just hope this doesn't end too soon.

Update!!

So I don't yet have internet access but here is a small update.

My apartment is empty. I mean fucking empty. It's exhausting living there. LOL. But on the bright side I picked up some speakers for my computer today, gonna get my TV ordered and my internet access order through.

On the relationship front, I have started seeing someone. His name is Joey. He is oh so nice if a bit cunty. I like that tho. We are just in general... nice to each other. I respect him and he respects me. It's interesting how my expectations for a relationship have changed. I know what I had in the past with Mike. I know what we lacked and I now feel like I am deserving of it all. As such I have to give what I expect to receive. I expect respect... I have to give it. I expect loving behavior... I have to give it. He's a cuddler. I never really knew I had that in me... but I do. I love just being held.

I think I am falling for this guy. We have been talking for months now as friends and it seems that is what's working in our favor. As much as I have fought it, out of fear of course... I can't help this. He is breaking down my walls diligently. I don't want to get hurt. It can't be the right time. But no one ever got anywhere being afraid and if we all wait for the right time we may as well be waiting for Godot.

Well that is all for now.

Can't wait to get internets.


Laters chulos.

- D