Wish Me Luck!

I may have found a place to move to. It will be a roommate situation, to be frank the studio/1br prospects in my new price range is pretty abismal this time of year. So I will be putting in 6 months to a year with what, so far, seems like 2 really cool people. They have animals and that does not bother me one bit. I will miss Aries as I am leaving him with Mike until I can get a place of my own.

Mike seems to think that I SHOULD move in with roommates as I am rather non-social when not put in a social setting. He feels that if I am socializing I will be ok. Though he does not admit it, he is as worried about me as I am about him. I don't want anything to happen to him as a result of my not being here as his voice of reason. He does not want anything to happen to me either as a result of his not being there to take motherly care of me.

I have been giving him as much advice as possible and he has for me too. He's been telling me about things I would need to be able to do basics like... you know... cook for myself. I have been giving him as much advice about protecting himself as I could. In a 10yr long relationship you get used to being able to take some things for granted, being newly single he has to now face danger again. I won't be able to protect him. That scares me as I will not be there to be the voice of reason nor will I be there to be the muscle that keeps him safe.

So... I called Jae told him about the room and asked him to check it out for me. Hopefully he will check it out and say "sure go for it.". When he does I will be sending them my rent for Jan and begin the chore of renting a Van to get me up to MA with my stuff. Walter will be driving me up there. 5 and a half hours in a van with my ex-husbands best friend. Mike was the one who suggested it... we both figured it was Mikes way of being passive aggressive. The entire way Walter will bug me about how I am making a mistake first... then about how many men I will get... then about taking him out to get drunk and all the while calling me a 'ho' because it is his vernacular.

Joy...

But wish me luck peeps. I need to do this. For myselff and for anyone else who will end up with me. In my current state, heartbreak aside, I am no good for anyone. Not Mike nor myself.


-Daemian