Indecisive...

Ok... so I am sitting here and contemplating my extremes. Not sure which way to go. See when I make a decision I am very stubborn about it. I make the decision and thats that. Given I see that I am stubborn about it and will not turn back once the decision is made I try to curb it. But in curbing it I become very indecisive. Weighing every pro and con, every possible outcome to the finest point until I can take it no more and say... screw it I'll just have a burger for dinner.

Same goes with my labido. I on one hand am so damn horny (damn latino blood) that I get stir crazy. Just jerking off doesn't cut it. I did it for 10yrs, 30 days out of ever 31 days. So why am I so frightened to just go out and have as much casual sex as my labido can handle? Yes there is disease and there are loonies out there... but Christ what am I to do?

So on one hand a big part of me wants to just not fuck anyone. Let it go until I find someone who can at least wait til the 2nd or 3rd date before I hand over my goodies. But at the same time a big part of me wants to just paint the town white. I mean where I come from sex on the first date is a must. The way the sex goes determines if there will be a second date. So now I am going to flip flop on the whole fucking issue. To screw or not to screw.

Pros:

1. I will put myself out there. The only way to meet someone is to put yourself out there.
2. I will satisfy my labido making me appear and feel less desperate.
3. I will get to have massive amount of good to great sex. (I don't have bad sex)
4. I will gain a reputation for being a good lover.
5. I will feel sexier or more studly. (Always good for the ego)
6. I will have some fun.
7. I will meet new people and possibly make a friend or two.
   

Cons:

1. I will be exposing mysel to all sorts of nasty little bugs. Condoms are not 100%.
2. I will most likely either feel unfulfilled or fall for someone who has no intention of actually dating.
3. I will gain a reputation as a whore.
4. I will meet some lunatics who fall for me after just one night.
5. I will possibly end up rebuilding my ego based on sex and then end up with another Mike.
6. I will have to wash my sheets all the fucking time until I get more than one set.
7. I am unsure as to how fucking an entire town can help you make friends.

So those are the pros and the cons. I still can't decide. I know I can easily go out tonight and pick up a Mr. Thursday #2... very easily. But is that really in my best interest? My labido says yes... my brain, while it still has some blood in it, says no. How does one go about killing their indecisive nature and just make the decision... good or bad?

I can't decide what to do. I do know that I am a man of extremes. Very seldom do I make a move to the middle... it is either left.... or right.

- Daemian